Helping or Hurting: Support Vs. Drowning in Complaint

Sometimes the line can be blurry between being supportive and absorbing negativity. This can happen in our friendships, relationships, and with family.  It can be daunting attempting to be there for someone but left feeling completely sucked dry of energy and depleted. Where do you draw the line?

I was inspired to talk more about this because of a question that was asked in my recent Reddit AMA “Ask Me Anything”:

"Do you have any tips on how to keep your friends negative energy from affecting you? I want to be a good friend to friends going through a tough time, but sometimes I find it's hard to know the balance between being a good friend and taking on too much"

I thought it was a great question as many people struggle with the contagious vibes of "Negative Nancies".   

First thing's first.....it's important to decipher between being supportive with a listening ear versus being someone's emotional dumpster. If you have found yourself in the role of "dumpee", you don't have to take it!

Being the Dumpee is like going to a theater watching a movie of straight complaining and blaming for hours and hours.....

Why would you pay for this movie?  

It is an energy leak, has no ending and when you come back the next day, the same thing plays again. 

AND they are out of popcorn and the seats don't recline.....

Now if the bad movie you are watching is on repeat in your relatiosnhip, take a step back and reflect on how you greet your partner after a long day of work.  Do both of you projectile vomit about the lows of the day, how tired you are, and how you can’t stand so-and-so who had morning breath at the 3pm meeting?  

This can snowball into a spitfire of complaining which can create a negative energy.  Find a different way to “bond” with each other. Make rules such as “No work talk” at dinner or make it a point to acknowledge what went really well in your day upon coming home.

If you need help getting to another movie, I'll provide you with a GPS of my take on setting boundaries and taking control of a situation that you actually have a say in....

Thirsty Thursdays with a Therapist:  Keeping A Friend's Negative Energy from Seeping In.....

You can also check out the Reddit AMA  if you want in on the awesome dialogue that we had as well!