Intentionality is a word that I use A LOT in working with couples.
If I had a nickel for every time I said “Intention” or “Boundaries”, I could retire tomorrow. Being intentional about time spent together and carving out date nights requires planning and a bit of structure. For those that are “planners” by nature, this may come easy. For others who are more free spirited and go with the flow, your take might be, “Oh we’ll figure it out.”
Often, partners fall on different sides, which can cause conflict. Believe it or not, when it comes to relationship goals and self-care, It is possible to find a balance with structure and intent while simultaneously “going with the flow” and being open to “not knowing”.
Say what? Stay with me.
What comes up for you if your partner were to tell you to be dressed by 6pm and ready without giving you any details? Could go with the flow, and show up fully willing to be open for whatever they have in mind?
Or perhaps there’s a long wait at the restaurant you planned on going to, would you be game to grab an impromptu hot dog from a street truck and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge playing, “Never Have I Ever”.
Is there a part of you that can play in “not knowing” while still having meaningful connection?
I bring this up because recently, I was reflecting on my time in New York as I surpass my 10 year mark! Crazy how time flies!!
I feel like it was just yesterday that I was asking for directions and taking selfies in Times Square like it was cooler than a polar bear’s toenails. Those were the days.
Some of my favorite memories were the days that weren’t fully planned out that morphed into “One of those New York Moments”.
It is those moments that you couldn’t possibly have predicted or planned that happen when you least expect it. You say “yes” when you normally would’ve said “no” and perhaps meet someone who now is a cherished friend that you couldn’t possibly imagine not having in your life. Those kinda moments.
The theme of going with the flow has contributed to my most cherished memories resulting in meaningful connections, hilarious gasp-worthy memories, and growth spurred by vulnerability.
All of this reflecting made me want to shake things up and put myself in a situation that was planned but with an air of spontaneity. I want to connect with you in a meaningful way that has some flavor of "winging it" without the structure and editing of a blog or article.
I’m inviting you to come along for the ride! I will be hosting a live “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) on Reddit on Wednesday, July 31st at 1:30pm.
I will be answering live questions and you can ask me anything!
Well almost anything…
Note, that while I can’t provide therapy via reddit, I am more than happy to answer questions that you have about betrayal, infidelity, relationships and therapy in general. You can ask my anything!
If you are unable to make it to the live AMA, are in New York and have questions about how therapy works, you can schedule a free 15 minute video consultation!
I am looking forward to connecting and answering your burning questions!