I recently saged my space and burned some Palo Santo for the first time. Upon reading up on how to prepare to use sage, I noted that you are to first sage yourself before you begin to cleanse your house. If you want to bring in more positive energy and vibes, you have to first get rid of the trash essentially! I wouldn’t have thought to sage myself first because I was so focused on the cleansing of the house.
It reminded me of how often we focus on external stimuli, people, places when exploring solutions to an issue. When it comes to our relationships, our minds can do cartwheels coming up with all the behaviors and traits of our partners that may be contributing to conflict.
Energy is something that we can absorb and pick up and carry with us without being consciously aware of it. You may bring negative energy from work or from a bad commute into your home and proceed to blame your partner for your “bad mood” because he didn’t start dinner yet. But really, the energy you brought home with you would’ve found something……….hell, anything to be agitated about.
Negative energy doesn't have to be heavy or put us in bad moods necessarily though! Sometimes a stiff work culture can add uptight energy that adds up over time until it can’t be contained anymore. We sometimes think of negative energy as being around someone with a bad attitude or who is generally critical of you.
But negative energy can be very indirect. I can recall waiting tables and going up to couples who were smiling and polite on the exterior but I could feel the energy at the table was tense and cold. Had they just gotten into a fight? Did one of them not want to there? Did they get awful news? Or did one of them neglect self-care and skip lunch to the point where their hangriness (hungry + angry) had culminated into an agitation that their partner had also absorbed? It could be a number of things!
The point is, if I had a couple more tables like that throughout a shift, I could be susceptible to bringing that energy home and it wasn’t even directed at me! And I have no context for it! BUT it goes to show just how powerful energy can be!! Positive or negative.
Carrying negative energy impacts our thoughts tremendously. It can make the difference between seeing a glass of water as half-full or half-empty. One of my favorite quotes explains it perfectly:
"No thought lives in your head rent-free. Each thought you have will either be an investment or a cost. It will either move you toward happiness and success or away from it. It will either empower you or disempower you. That’s why it is imperative you choose your thoughts and beliefs wisely."
- T. Harv Eker
If you are finding that negativity is getting in between you and your partner and you want to learn more, check out the full article, "What To Do When Negativity Takes Over Your Relationship" at marriage.com!
You can grab my BONUS FREE GUIDE as well:
"Complaining is Draining: How to Break the Habit Before it Breaks You Up"
Check it out and turn that relationship frown upside down!