A sense of humor is an important element when it comes to intimacy. In fact, there is a such thing as “Humor Intimacy”. Humor intimacy is defined as sharing through cracking up together, having inside jokes, and enjoying the funny side of life. A shared type of sense of humor goes a long way!
But it is not as simple as having a sense of humor that cultivates and maintains humor intimacy in a relationship. It actually can take some effort to keep it alive after being in a long term relationship. In fact, I find in working with many couples in therapy, that humor and laughter is the first thing to go when crisis strikes in the relationship. It’s probably even more necessary to find the funny side of things when life hits you with unexpected stressors.
I am always encouraging couples to have a time of day or week that they carve out to share what’s going well and what they appreciate in the relationship and about their partner. This time can also include humor by both of you reflecting on the “funniest thing that happened this week”. It’s a great way to connect! Share an embarrassing moment from the past that you can now laugh at; we all have those moments.
Sharing these sort of memories go hand-in-hand with vulnerability.
How many funny moments do we file away or dismiss in the back of our mind? What if we were to share funny moments with one another with intention? In the midst of work, never-ending to-do lists and responsibilities, it can be easy to overlook the funny side of life. It’s so important to tap into humor as it enriches our relationships more than you realize!
Act silly. Be goofy. Dance. Tap into the silly part of you that you may have had as a kid seamlessly! Sharing in laughter with your partner until your stomach aches and tears roll down your face can be the best medicine for healing and bouncing forward from stress.