Is it Too Late for Premarital Counseling?
/Whether you’re newlyweds or you’ve got a few years of marriage under your belt, it’s not too late to enrich your relationship with counseling. While premarital counseling sounds like it’s exclusively for engaged couples, that couldn’t be further from the truth! Couples at any stage in their relationship can benefit greatly from a premarital counseling framework. Couples of all ages and stages can improve communication, connection, and conflict resolution skills as a result.
Premarital counseling can also serve as a “reset” button if you are feeling disconnected or more like a roommate in your relationship. It can serve as a safe space to unpack subjects that couples have put on the backburner aka “We’ll talk about it later”. It also highlights and builds on your existing strengths and strengthens areas of weakness. So whether you are engaged, newlyweds, or a bit beyond, it’s not too late! There are countless benefits of couples going to premarital counseling regardless.
Here are a few things benefits that you can expect:
Understanding & Aligning on Expectations
Premarital Counseling is centered on helping couples to manage their expectations. If our expectations are not clear, they are more likely to not be met and this leads to disappointment, contempt, and conflict. The purpose of premarital counseling is to identify and explore each partner’s expectations such as roles, family planning, lifestyle, responsibilities, etc. Premarital counseling creates a safe space to unpack & understand these expectations, and gain clarity and alignment as a couple. If you are aligned in your expectations as a couple, there’s less room for disappointment and conflict.
2. Getting Ahead of Potential Challenges: As you move through different life stages, your needs will inevitably change. A premarital counselor can help you to identify potential challenges (and current concerns) and to address those matters before they arise or become major sources of tension. Counseling can also help you become better attuned to potential challenges and arm couples with the skills to navigate future obstacles long after counseling is over. Couples don’t have to wait until they are in the middle of a crisis to seek support. We have preventative & routine care in so many areas of our life. Why not our relationships?
3. Improved Stress Management. External stress can spill over into our relationships if we don’t know how to healthily manage our emotions. We can’t prevent stress therefore if stress management is a struggle for one or both partners, it will likely contribute to the breakdown of the relationship. Transitions, expected or unexpected, can put strain on a relationship but that likelihood is decreased with adequate stress management. Premarital counseling will teach you effective coping mechanisms and provide you with tools to better navigate life’s curveballs and day-to-day stressors.
4. Acceptance & Appreciation of Differences
While you may love your partner, you may not love all of their habits or tendencies. Couples counseling helps couples to better understand and embrace your differences. Relationships require both partners to embrace different opinions, interests, and ways of thinking. Remember that, opposites attract. Having a diversity of thoughts and interests in a relationship gives couples more possibilities of solutions when they are problem solving. Counseling highlights how your differences can be an asset to the relationship (rather than something that you fight to change).
Ultimately, premarital counseling is a productive step that couples can take to enhance their relationship skills at any point in their partnership. It’s an opportunity that can hold space and guidance for tough conversations, resolving circular issues, and can improve intimacy and communication. This often results in couples feeling closer, more connected, and raises their confidence to manage life’s curveballs. Couples can gain invaluable insights into their relationship dynamics and walk away with guidance and tools necessary for building a lasting partnership