We all have a primary love language. What is a love language? Love languages are the ways in which we naturally give and receive sentiments of love. We all have more than one, but we tend to have a primary one that has significantly more meaning than the others.
There are FIVE:
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
4. Words of Affirmation
The primary language you speak is how you readily give and most easily receive love.
Years ago, I had a looooooooong stressful day and had been texting my beau about it throughout the day. Note that my primary love language is "acts of service".
So basically (for me), deeds or sweet gestures that help me out really rock my world! That could be as simple as making a cup of coffee so I can sleep in 5 more minutes!
Anyway, my partner gave me a bouquet of flowers as his way of giving me support and comfort at the end of the day.
It was appreciated BUT my initial thought was.....
"UGH, I have to cut the stems, and find a freakin' vase.....where IS that damn vase......and then I have to try and keep the flowers alive for at LEAST a few days."
I was perplexed (and felt guilty!) at my internal response. Him walking the dog (so I could decompress a bit more) would’ve spoke volumes to my heart...but expecting your partner to be a mindreader is a big NO-NO!
My point IS.....had we dug deep into our love languages, we would have had a better understanding of HOW comfort and support speaks to us!
Come to find out, my partner's primary love language was gifts. Go figure!
We tend to "speak" our primary language to those that we love and they may not receive it because they speak a totally different language.
For others, a nice long hug (touch!) would've melted all the day's stressors away.....
If you aren't familiar with the 5 love languages (OR you need a refresher), make sure you checked out these “Thirsty Thursdays with a Therapist” episodes where we quench the thirst in your relationships:
You can hear more about the 5 love languages, what they mean, and how to more easily circulate the flow of love in a way that is meaningful for you and your partner.
Also, you can learn how to navigate when your partner's primary language is difficult and for you to speak! For instance, what can you do if words of affirmation is what your partner needs most but words of affirmation doesn't come natural at all for you?
Tune in here and let me know your thoughts!!!